after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
