I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
