whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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