It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
