Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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