I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
