Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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