Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
