apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
