I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
