PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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