I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
