Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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