I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize