I saw his package. It spoke to me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize