he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
