escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
