I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize