I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
