So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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