I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
