I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
