i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
