it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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