Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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