do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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