well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
