i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
