went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
