We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
