The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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