Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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