Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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