i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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