Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
