i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
