I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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