They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
