finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
