Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
