well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
