the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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