can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
