I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
