I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
