he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The Olympian is in my bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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