Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
