If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
