he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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