I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
