my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
do nipples grow back?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
