Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize