Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize