we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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