Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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