But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
