plz talk dirty to me
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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