I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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