If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
