Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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