I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize