Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
