Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
