what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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