this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
