Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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