You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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