It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
