i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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