it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
