I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
