You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
