I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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