Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i used baking grease as lip gloss
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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